The Classics: "Pride Before the Fall"

“Goodbye everyone. Next week make sure you bring back the…” No one was really paying attention to the TA, especially not Sandy. He quietly but quickly packed his backpack. Pencil, pen, calculator, and lab notebook, all accounted for. It was 9:04 already and going over is a TA’s biggest mistake, at least it is in Sandy’s mind. Standing slowly and sliding his stool under the shiny black workstation, Sandy sent a subtle yet blaringly rude statement to the TA concerning his apparent disregard for time. Getting the hint, the TA shyly ended class while apologizing and extending another assignment. With the dull glory that was his victory, Sandy briskly exited his Physics lab at 9:05 pm.

At the bike rack, he quickly located the coolest bike albeit a Wal-Mart purchase: a blue and silver Motiv dual-suspension mountain bike. Unlocking his transportation Sandy proudly peddled off from the Physical Science building en route for his chair and the warm glow of his 19” Sony computer monitor. He jetted across Monroe and into the nearly vacant parking lot where he found himself side by side with a blue GMC Astro minivan. In a fit of childish and notoriously male behavior, Sandy began to peddle a little harder, a little faster. He changed gears, and continued to fly. Overcoming the van and charging ahead, Sandy felt like a stud. Looking back to the pavement that passed underneath him like water, he spotted several parking blocks ahead, and remembering his childhood mastery of the “bunny hop” decided to jump one with the hopes of making one last impression on the driver while placing himself firmly in the annals of all time best campus bike riders.

As the parking blocks approached, Sandy steadied himself in a crouched position on his peddles. Hands firmly on the bars, butt slightly above the seat, knees bent, eyes focused. The parking blocks closed in...QUICKLY! His ridiculous level of speed mixed beautifully with his nonchalant and therefore horribly mistimed bunny hop as the front tire of his beloved bike planted firmly into the cement block. Immediately, the momentum trapped in the rocket that was his body and bike redirected, upward. The front tire held its position dutifully sending Sandy over the handle bars with tremendous velocity. Close behind was the rest of the beloved. Rotating forward, Sandy’s backpack whipped in front of his face. He tucked his head and assumed the fetal position as best he could, but his foot was stuck. It wasn’t his life that flashed before his eyes, but his humiliation. He landed with a thud, on his back, then shoulders, then elbow and eventually, knee and hip. He skid to a stop opening wounds, which felt superficial when compared to his pride. Looking back to the minivan with defeated eyes, Sandy heard “Hey! Are you OK?...Hey!” Rolling over and readjusting his backpack, the laughter of female onlookers overwhelmed him. “What a NERD! HAH HAHA HA!” He lifted his bike and frantically collected himself, all the while worried about the contents of his backpack. His seat was completely misaligned, but as the demoralizing shouts of the driver persisted and the laughter of women rang in his head, he mounted his bike and sat down defiantly, riding towards home, leaving his pride in the street.